you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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