My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize