If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I look better un-naked...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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