So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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