You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
