Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
