My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
