i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
