We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
