I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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