It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
