you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
