I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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