Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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