Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
