I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
