he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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