I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How does it feel to date your dad?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
