The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
