I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
