so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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