Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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