I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
