my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
