Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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