And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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