can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
