He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
