Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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