i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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