Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
