hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
