I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
