No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
