the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
