drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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