Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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