Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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