I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You left your phone here
Wait...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
