Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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