the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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