You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
