The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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