OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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