On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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