apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
