is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
