Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
