Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
