you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
